I was
waiting for my fiancé during that time. That cupid boyfriend that I have, stopped to chat with a girl at the end
of the bar and I, while expecting him, simply thought about my character’s role
as I stood on stage that night. I looked very unhappy, I’ll accept that. But it
was the only feeling that I had inside that place, at that time. They took the
picture precisely when I started to sip on the wine that glamorized my glass. Those
traitors… I'll keep telling you what happened there.
I was wondering if I did not perform
my part of the script correctly, just like the many times I was able to do so.
Could my gestures on stage have been
interpreted as a subliminal mockery? That
would be a good excuse for not applauding at me today... if it’s not for this
reason, it must have been because something else. I thought while sitting at the bar.
I was in such a need for a
cigarette that evening… So while waiting for my fiancé, I kept thinking of more
things, plain and simply going over the matter.
Why was I rejected today? Why today, after so many long nights in this
theatre? I asked myself.
It must have been that germ, which flourishes over the irrational sorts
of senseless talking. If it was that, without any doubt, it had infected the
entire audience. All those people who recognize me as an actress of impeccable
quality, now infected, all of them
I kept thinking... Look at them today, denying my seniority,
unfolding their thoughts into acting as completely ethereal beings, now denying
the very essence of beauty in the art of acting. Only a fool becomes carried
away by his own poor understanding. The real bad thing is when that soul feels the
need to spread that feeling just because of his vileness.
I felt disappointed once I
walked out of the stage that night. I knew that my enemies somehow earned the wonderment
of their followers. I knew that something was wrong. So I decided to enter the
bar, just to clear my mind. I knew that my fiancé
would be waiting for me there. Well, he didn’t know I was getting there sooner,
since they had canceled my act earlier that day.
Usurpers, they will never
develop my character with the quality that has made me stand out. I have to
admit something before I go on. That night, I was just one more pretext to
justify their production style. They are nothing, nothing if they don’t jump in
to one’s life just to get more publicity. Ok, ok, if they feel so “moved” by “shaking
things around”, soon they will know how things in this country are really
shaken.
They are only a band of incompetents without any control. I
remember that I repeated softly, just barely moving my lips. That was the only
thing I spoke as I stood there at that bar. And standing still by my side was
that other subject, the one wearing a hat, he remained silent. I’ll tell you
who he is later.
A glass of wine was enough
to forget that that was the night that I was fired by those morons. My role,
lost forever. Nothing gave me any encouragement to laugh that evening. I didn't
desire anything, or any less felt like being anyone in the world as I stood
there... My only world was that role that I played every single weekend, it was
all for me.
But how dare them to hire a low-ranking actress,
and to place her in my place. This is my end, I cannot be myself anymore. How could
they dare to take this picture to the newspapers. Yes, I was just going through
thoughts while waiting for my soul mate and that was all.
Today I was arranged to shut
up, I am meant to agree and understand that my role will be played by
insensibility made a verb, and therefore I shall be immediately turned into a useless
shadow, I would then be like an ornament in the shelf which categorizes this
new trend. Yes... myself and all of those who would have to pass through
something like this. But they will be hearing from me, oh yes they will, oh yes
they will…
I sensed my glass delicately,
using my fingertips, trying to forget for one more second the sourness of my
surprising farewell. I didn't mention a single word at the bar.
I don't know where they got
the news that I “disappeared from the theater” Soon they will know that I still
have my parking ticket, oh yes they will…
Suddenly Isidro talked to
me, you know, the subject who’s standing beside me in the picture. Yes, a
renowned producer to whom I previously declined some offers, because of my pure
and dumb selfishness. Yes, this is the subject that fell beside me. I remember
the day that I met him for the first time…, that day I was also told that he
managed the great european actress Laura
Miatts. Enough weight for my rookie star mentality, I rejected him.
And if I there was something
not to be forgotten that night, it would definitely had been that piano, Lou
Donaldson’s “Blue Walk” was played so brilliantly inside that tiny bar. At last,
something decent that my ears could hold on to after so much madness. Look,
look at that picture, you do not fear them? Where would I be today?
You need to assemble another theatrical piece immediately, you need new
features. Isidro told me in a low toned voice, and then went on to gush all
of his wine in a single blow. No one, no
one will do it for you this time, and much less will invite you to any new auditions.
They will never find your type at their castings, and that simply boils them.
You have the eyes of a star, that’s all their hate. You do not fight
against that, accept it. I will not be here standing until your partner strolls
along, think about this. I’ll put the money and a polished good script.
I paid little attention to
his dialog, if he only knew what I am going to do to them. But that bar was not
the place to negotiate, even less the right time for it. I only wanted to think
about my work, and about the public that applauded me every weekend, and the
bright lights that glittered around my dressing room. And who the hell knows
what rookie could be sitting there, in that dressing room where I'll never sit again.
And yet they dare to say in the papers headline that “I was being interviewed by
a police investigator”. What a bunch of low-life’s. Oh yes, they will hear from
me, they will, yes they will…
I'm still explaining to you;
listen. Behind my back there were some businessmen who were listening to my
conversation, and even made some comments about a possible feature for me.
It was a voice that I recognized.
The one that I heard was simply a man without ideas. He was only about money,
not about the script necessary to promote an actress as I am. So when I thought
about those whispered proposals, related to work they used to promote, I knew
that they had nothing. And I also knew on the other hand, that the theatres he had
under his tutelage were simply resting rooms for young narcissistic people. And
therefore their comments didn’t provoke my soul in to any minimum reaction.
Well,
I have to go now. Isidro said, swirling his keys inside his
pocket. Tell me if you accept my offer or
not. I promise you an excellence in set design, iluminated by more than ten lighting
technicians. A set design workshop on set, just for you.
A
live band…We will leave on tour around Europe. I will not give you anything
less than a life of stardom.
Look at him,
take a glimpse. With his folly hat that distinguishes him. Make no mistake...
He is, the new manager of your theater…, there, taking drinks after your goodbye.
Acknowledge what he is; only one more puppet of this mass marketing trend, this
is a simple game of chance for him.
What was
he about before this…, nothing? He spent his entire collage days bouncing money
from his parents. Then he took a photography course. He immediately published a
magazine that he led to bankruptcy. And now he intends to buy another
personality. And as soon as he becomes aware of another profession that places
him as “trendy”, he’ll stop of all this and all of those with him will vanish
I am sure that he will go in to film
production. Only buys and sells shows at his convenience. Oh, those opulent
looks, hear him speaking as a man of business. But after all, he will send us
away. And with the sum of money that he recovers, he may be retiring for the holidays
around the world, just to calm his stressed mind. Look at him… I’ll say he will
last about six months in this theatre. Because when judgment time comes for the
mediocre, even if given by God or by the people, it can be postponed, but will not
be prevented.
At the end of his plead;
Isidro opted to throw in a piece of paper in to one of my pockets, so I
remained static, not provoking any insinuations. That was what happened there. I
didn't even want to look back. But of course, they know what kind of theatrical
productions this producer can pull off. And that’s why so much hate, most of it
to further discredit the image that I have. That’s why they published the paper.
But they will be hearing from me, oh yes they will…oh yes they will…
You'll
be famous again, only because of your artistic skills; you do not have to
render your craft in to second rated illusionists. And like such Isidro
concluded.
After he retreated I just stood
there some minutes, just reflecting about this. I also noticed a slight rain; and
that the colors of the street were entirely surrendered by the twilight spell.
As soon as my suitor approached, I took him by his arm, and then left the
premises heading on to his motorcycle. That was all…
But they will hear from me,
oh yes they will…
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