I was waiting for my fiancé during that time. That cupid boyfriend that I have, stopped to chat with a girl at the end of the bar and I, while expecting him, simply thought about my character’s role as I stood on stage that night. I looked very unhappy, I’ll accept that. But it was the only feeling that I had inside that place, at that time. They took the picture precisely when I started to sip on the wine that glamorized my glass. Those traitors… I'll keep telling you what happened there.
I was wondering if I did not perform my part of the script correctly, just like the many times I was able to do so.
Could my gestures on stage have been interpreted as a subliminal mockery? That would be a good excuse for not applauding at me today... if it’s not for this reason, it must have been because something else. I thought while sitting at the bar.
I was in such a need for a cigarette that evening… So while waiting for my fiancé, I kept thinking of more things, plain and simply going over the matter.
Why was I rejected today? Why today, after so many long nights in this theatre? I asked myself.
It must have been that germ, which flourishes over the irrational sorts of senseless talking. If it was that, without any doubt, it had infected the entire audience. All those people who recognize me as an actress of impeccable quality, now infected, all of them
I kept thinking... Look at them today, denying my seniority, unfolding their thoughts into acting as completely ethereal beings, now denying the very essence of beauty in the art of acting. Only a fool becomes carried away by his own poor understanding. The real bad thing is when that soul feels the need to spread that feeling just because of his vileness.
I felt disappointed once I walked out of the stage that night. I knew that my enemies somehow earned the wonderment of their followers. I knew that something was wrong. So I decided to enter the bar, just to clear my mind. I knew that my fiancé would be waiting for me there. Well, he didn’t know I was getting there sooner, since they had canceled my act earlier that day.
Usurpers, they will never develop my character with the quality that has made me stand out. I have to admit something before I go on. That night, I was just one more pretext to justify their production style. They are nothing, nothing if they don’t jump in to one’s life just to get more publicity. Ok, ok, if they feel so “moved” by “shaking things around”, soon they will know how things in this country are really shaken.
They are only a band of incompetents without any control. I remember that I repeated softly, just barely moving my lips. That was the only thing I spoke as I stood there at that bar. And standing still by my side was that other subject, the one wearing a hat, he remained silent. I’ll tell you who he is later.
A glass of wine was enough to forget that that was the night that I was fired by those morons. My role, lost forever. Nothing gave me any encouragement to laugh that evening. I didn't desire anything, or any less felt like being anyone in the world as I stood there... My only world was that role that I played every single weekend, it was all for me.
But how dare them to hire a low-ranking actress, and to place her in my place. This is my end, I cannot be myself anymore. How could they dare to take this picture to the newspapers. Yes, I was just going through thoughts while waiting for my soul mate and that was all.
Today I was arranged to shut up, I am meant to agree and understand that my role will be played by insensibility made a verb, and therefore I shall be immediately turned into a useless shadow, I would then be like an ornament in the shelf which categorizes this new trend. Yes... myself and all of those who would have to pass through something like this. But they will be hearing from me, oh yes they will, oh yes they will…
I sensed my glass delicately, using my fingertips, trying to forget for one more second the sourness of my surprising farewell. I didn't mention a single word at the bar.
I don't know where they got the news that I “disappeared from the theater” Soon they will know that I still have my parking ticket, oh yes they will…
Suddenly Isidro talked to me, you know, the subject who’s standing beside me in the picture. Yes, a renowned producer to whom I previously declined some offers, because of my pure and dumb selfishness. Yes, this is the subject that fell beside me. I remember the day that I met him for the first time…, that day I was also told that he managed the great european actress Laura Miatts. Enough weight for my rookie star mentality, I rejected him.
And if I there was something not to be forgotten that night, it would definitely had been that piano, Lou Donaldson’s “Blue Walk” was played so brilliantly inside that tiny bar. At last, something decent that my ears could hold on to after so much madness. Look, look at that picture, you do not fear them? Where would I be today?
You need to assemble another theatrical piece immediately, you need new features. Isidro told me in a low toned voice, and then went on to gush all of his wine in a single blow. No one, no one will do it for you this time, and much less will invite you to any new auditions. They will never find your type at their castings, and that simply boils them.
You have the eyes of a star, that’s all their hate. You do not fight against that, accept it. I will not be here standing until your partner strolls along, think about this. I’ll put the money and a polished good script.
I paid little attention to his dialog, if he only knew what I am going to do to them. But that bar was not the place to negotiate, even less the right time for it. I only wanted to think about my work, and about the public that applauded me every weekend, and the bright lights that glittered around my dressing room. And who the hell knows what rookie could be sitting there, in that dressing room where I'll never sit again. And yet they dare to say in the papers headline that “I was being interviewed by a police investigator”. What a bunch of low-life’s. Oh yes, they will hear from me, they will, yes they will…
I'm still explaining to you; listen. Behind my back there were some businessmen who were listening to my conversation, and even made some comments about a possible feature for me.
It was a voice that I recognized. The one that I heard was simply a man without ideas. He was only about money, not about the script necessary to promote an actress as I am. So when I thought about those whispered proposals, related to work they used to promote, I knew that they had nothing. And I also knew on the other hand, that the theatres he had under his tutelage were simply resting rooms for young narcissistic people. And therefore their comments didn’t provoke my soul in to any minimum reaction.
Well, I have to go now. Isidro said, swirling his keys inside his pocket. Tell me if you accept my offer or not. I promise you an excellence in set design, iluminated by more than ten lighting technicians. A set design workshop on set, just for you.
A live band…We will leave on tour around Europe. I will not give you anything less than a life of stardom.
Look at him, take a glimpse. With his folly hat that distinguishes him. Make no mistake... He is, the new manager of your theater…, there, taking drinks after your goodbye. Acknowledge what he is; only one more puppet of this mass marketing trend, this is a simple game of chance for him.
What was he about before this…, nothing? He spent his entire collage days bouncing money from his parents. Then he took a photography course. He immediately published a magazine that he led to bankruptcy. And now he intends to buy another personality. And as soon as he becomes aware of another profession that places him as “trendy”, he’ll stop of all this and all of those with him will vanish
I am sure that he will go in to film production. Only buys and sells shows at his convenience. Oh, those opulent looks, hear him speaking as a man of business. But after all, he will send us away. And with the sum of money that he recovers, he may be retiring for the holidays around the world, just to calm his stressed mind. Look at him… I’ll say he will last about six months in this theatre. Because when judgment time comes for the mediocre, even if given by God or by the people, it can be postponed, but will not be prevented.
At the end of his plead; Isidro opted to throw in a piece of paper in to one of my pockets, so I remained static, not provoking any insinuations. That was what happened there. I didn't even want to look back. But of course, they know what kind of theatrical productions this producer can pull off. And that’s why so much hate, most of it to further discredit the image that I have. That’s why they published the paper. But they will be hearing from me, oh yes they will…oh yes they will…
You'll be famous again, only because of your artistic skills; you do not have to render your craft in to second rated illusionists. And like such Isidro concluded.
After he retreated I just stood there some minutes, just reflecting about this. I also noticed a slight rain; and that the colors of the street were entirely surrendered by the twilight spell. As soon as my suitor approached, I took him by his arm, and then left the premises heading on to his motorcycle. That was all…
But they will hear from me, oh yes they will…